Ministerial Musings, Rev. Betty

As I think you know, I am passionate about being a Unitarian Universalist. And one of the saddest things I hear from people who are new to us is, “I think I have been a UU all my life. I just didn’t know it.” Of course, I am glad they found us. But the question that I have to ask myself is why they didn’t discover us sooner. If you believe, as I do, that we have a message that the world needs to hear, why are we so reluctant to share what we have discovered?

According to an article in the Montclair, California, UU congregation’s newsletter, it is estimated that 85% of new UUs come for the first time because of an invitation from a friend or acquaintance. Now, if that is true, I believe we need to look at what we are doing to spread our unique brand of “good news.” In that same article, they also included a questionnaire to measure a person’s Invitation Quotient? Answer the questions below to discover your I.Q.  

1. Have you spoken to anyone lately to share what being a Unitarian Universalist means to you?
2. Have you ever called someone that you haven’t seen at one of our activities for a while to find out how she or he is doing?
3. Have you invited a newcomer in the community to come to one of our services or events in the last few months?  
4. Have you encouraged or invited someone who isn’t participating in another religious community to come with you to one of our social events, programs, or groups?  
5. During the past month, have you introduced yourself before or after our service to someone you didn’t know and shared your personal word of greeting and welcome?  
6. Have you shared a UU brochure, the UU World magazine, or our newsletter with someone that you think might be interested in our history and principles?  

If all of us could answer an honest “yes” to all six of these questions, our Invitation Quotient would be terrific. If not, we need to find ways to improve it. Somewhere out in our larger community there are people just waiting to learn more about us. They might not even know that there is a UU congregation here.

I believe that spreading the word about Unitarian Universalism and working for the growth of our congregation is a Moral Imperative. Let’s not keep those potential UUs waiting.

Blessings, Rev. Betty

p.s. See the article in this newsletter about our preparation for UUCVH to become a "Welcoming Congregation"  for LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) folks. That’s another way of enhancing our IQ.

MINISTERIAL MUSINGS

This is a season when we are reminded to think about what we truly want for our lives in the New Year. With that in mind, I went through my files to find some stimulation for that process for myself. What I found was a prose-poem titled The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. You may have seen it before, as I had. But I think that we can still find new possibilities in old messages. So I share them with you as a potential inspiration for your journey - and our journey together - into 2012.

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know 
if you will risk 
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are 
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you 
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know 
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone 
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

As we look toward the year ahead, I hope that we can find ways to be our best selves and to honor each other in our shared values and our differences. I believe that we are up to the challenge, and I hope that you will join me in living it to reality. Best Wishes for the New Year!

Blessings, Rev. Betty

Minister's Musings, Rev. Betty

Each year about this time, I find myself under a lot of stress trying to get everything done for the holidays. You too?

But one of the things that I really look forward to is receiving cards and letters from people all over the country and the world whose paths have crossed mine over the years. Nor is this year an exception. Some of those people are family and friends, former students and colleagues. And each card or letter brings back memories of some of the experiences that we have shared and provides opportunities to catch up on more recent developments.

Now, the downside of all of this is that I have to send out cards or letters in order to receive them - addressing envelopes, attaching stamps, writing notes, folding letters, inserting them in envelopes, sealing them, and putting them all in the mail box.

So why am I sharing this information in my newsletter column? It is because I want to thank all the wonderful people in this congregation who have sent and will send holiday cards and letters to Tom and me and to apologize for not responding individually to all the wonderful greetings and kind wishes.

The fact is that I would love to send a card or letter to each person in the congregation, but I realized early in my ministry that such a task would be far too time consuming. Nor would I want to respond to only a few in our community - leaving out the vast majority.

What to do?  Well, let me share my greetings and hopes for great joy with all of the folks in our congregation who are reading this newsletter. You feed my soul and make my heart sing. And I feel honored to be serving as your minister. So this message sends to all of you the warmest of wishes for a glorious holiday season and a new year bright with promise.

Blessings,

Rev. Betty

Minister's Musings, Rev. Betty

By the time you read this column, we will be looking ahead to the celebration of Thanksgiving. We may be thinking about the many blessings that we have and looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner with our families and friends. And we will probably be planning to donate some money or food to those who are less fortunate than we are.

But wait! Have we forgotten something? Now, don’t misunderstand me. There is nothing wrong with any of the things in the previous paragraph. We certainly have much for which to be thankful, and gratitude is a very important asset. However, gratefulness should not be practiced only at Thanksgiving. It is something that we need to remember all year. And there are many ways that we can do that.

Of course, one way to show our care and concern for others is to continue our Sunday donations to The Burbank Temporary Aid Center and other worthy causes. But people don’t just need to eat or have their other needs met at Thanksgiving. They need food, shelter, clothing, medical attention, and other necessities long after the holiday season has come and gone. We can also contribute our time and talents at one of the many volunteer agencies in our community.

However, there is an area of thanks that we may have forgotten in all of our efforts. That is the simple power of a “Thank you” or “Well done” spoken with sincerity to another person. It is a simple thing, really, but one that we often forget. Now, I am not talking here just about good manners. I am talking about the recognition of the positive contributions that other people make to our lives every day.

And happily we can begin right within our own UUCVH community. We can thank those people who set up our worship space every Sunday and who prepare the coffee and provide refreshments every week. We can thank the Board members and other volunteers who take responsibility for the administrative and financial needs of the congregation. We can thank the worship leaders for providing us with inspiring Sunday services. We can thank many people for their supportive efforts for those in our church who need a helping hand and our office administrator for her many contributions. We can thank the Membership Committee for organizing exciting activities throughout the year and the many things they do to make people feel welcome. We can thank the Social Action Circle for their efforts with us in the larger community.

Now, I know that I have only begun to name all the many people and groups that contribute to the positive atmosphere at UUCVH. So let me urge you to continue the job of spreading the thanks. I must warn you, however, that this effort could become contagious. I think I’d like to take that risk. How about you?

Blessings,

Rev. Betty

Ministerial Musings, Rev. Dr. Betty Stapleford

One of the joys that I have as the minister at UUCVH is the opportunity to write a weekly response in the newspaper to a question relating to a current issue. While some from our congregation see them in the Glendale News Press or on-line, I am aware that not everyone has that opportunity. So I would like to share my September 28^th column with you below. I hope you find it interesting.

“I admit I was not surprised that Americans over the last twenty years have been moving away from specific religious denominations and traditions and modifying their beliefs to suit their own individual preferences. However, I do not believe we can characterize such shifts as “cherry-picking.” The world is a very different place than it was twenty years ago, and people are reacting in ways that make sense to them in light of new, and sometimes frightening, changes.

What some people have discovered is that the restrictive dogmas of many traditional Christian denominations or other faith traditions no longer fit the situations they face today. What I hear from many young couples who ask me to officiate at their weddings is that they consider themselves “spiritual” but not “religious.” They want to find their own spiritual paths – paths that inspire them to live with integrity in today’s world – outside the strictures of some narrow creed.

To the question about the culpability of the clergy for some of the declines in religious affiliation, I would have to answer, “Yes.” When a religious tradition gets locked in the past, it is no wonder that people turn away from beliefs that are no longer relevant to them. As those who are called to be the bearers of the truths of religion to congregants, the clergy must not simply rely on the same old ways of explaining what life and faith mean in a new age. To quote poet and lyricist James Russell Lowell: “New occasions teach new duties.” If members of the clergy fail to make their messages germane to the realities that people are facing, they and their faith tradition may well be left in the dust.

I feel very fortunate indeed that the religious tradition I have been called to serve encourages its members and clergy to think and deliberate for themselves in light of past experience, present evidence and future spiritual possibilities. UUs may be accused of many things, but we continue to join together in an ongoing search for truth and meaning wherever that my lead. Blessed be!”

Blessings, Rev. Betty

Ministerial Musings, Rev. Betty

During my years in ministry, I have been greatly enriched by the writing of Unitarian Universalist minister Rev. Dr. Richard Gilbert. And I recently came across one of his meditations that I had forgotten. So I would like to share it in my column this month as an inspiration for our new church year. It is called “Loneliness and Love.”

“Loneliness is our common fate. There is no escape.

But out of that loneliness comes our salvation,

For we love out of our fear of being alone.

As long as human beings people the earth,

We can be assured that in our loneliness

There is also love – deep, infinite love,

Waiting to be tapped, to water the barren,

Brown lawn of our loneliness – love that shrivels

If kept to the self, that flourishes if it is given away.

I need you. You need me. I know it.

You know it. What are we waiting for?"

It seems to me that this reading speaks to the need that we all have for a sense of deep connection with each other and our fear that we will not find it or that we will lose it. But my hope is that we will discover increasing ways in our lives, in our congregation, and in the larger world to heal that loneliness and to realize the myriad possibilities for a giving and receiving love. We need each other to be complete. I know it. You know it. May we find the ways to speak and listen each other into wholeness in the year ahead. What are we waiting for? Let us begin once more.

Blessings,

Rev. Betty